Killing a pedestrian with your car while possibly intoxicated? Sending explicit text messages to a fan during a game?

How about signing also-rans like Hank Poteat?

If you’re looking for more reasons to turn this Browns Town into a Cavs Metropolis, the folks in Berea will never let you down.

Meanwhile, the Cavaliers are sporting the best record in basketball. They’re clicking on all cylinders and have a very realistic chance at bringing a trophy and respect back to Northeast Ohio.

But silly me. Of course it’s more fun to call talk radio shows and debate about which 50 percent passer should be our starting quarterback.

It might be hard to tell at this point, but I am a Cleveland Browns fan. However, I’m also a realist. The team has done nothing to remain in at the forefront of our athletic conscious.

Many of the players’ behavior on and off the field has embarrassed us all and caused our friends from other NFL cities to disparage us until we begged for mercy. What’s more, the new general manager/head coach tandem barely speaks to us through any medium. So why, then, do we continue talk about which then next draft pick they’ll likely screw up in Browns fashion?

Another cornerstone of Browns fashion is venting and complaining. That’s exactly what I’m doing here, nothing more. I won’t be withdrawing my fan card anytime soon and I won’t ask you to, either.

What I will ask, though, is that if you’re going to show up downtown to tailgate at odd hours of the day, how about doing it for the team that actually wins?

It’s true, there’s nothing like football, but there’s also nothing like LeBron James. Remember that, in the coming months when he and his teammates make a deep playoff run, but still find themselves sharing ink and airtime with a team that would shock the world by winning half of its games in 2009.

You know it will happen.

-- Brandon C. Baker

--Photos: Getty Images and The Associated Press