Ahh, the 2009 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament is upon us.

Workers everywhere across America are glued to their computer screens, hitting the refresh button every 8.9 seconds to see which games will cause their brackets to implode.

I know a thing or two about atrocious brackets.

I usually never stick around long enough to care about the Sweet 16, because my bracket is ripped up into dozens of pieces at the bottom of some trash can by then.

I might as well take $5 every March and flush it down the toilet instead of wasting other people’s time to check off my bracket’s after every round, knowing I’m already out of it.

I did win a March Madness pool once in 2003 when I was the only person in the whole tournament to pick Carmello Anthony’s No. 3 seed Syracuse team to win it all.

People thought I was crazy. Well I got the last laugh but have been crying ever since.

Since 2003, I’ve been downright terrible at filling brackets.

Two years ago I picked Kevin Durant’s Texas team, who failed to win more than one game in the tournament.

Last year was so bad, I honestly don’t remember which scrub team I picked. I think I picked someone who wasn't even in the tournament.

To win this thing, you have to take some risks.

Risks are what one me the tournament in 2003 but it’s also what caused me to toss away my bracket in 2007 before the second round of games were completed.

This year I filled out two brackets, playing it relatively safe in both, which I rarely do (If you haven't noticed by now, I live on the edge.)

I have Memphis in one, and Louisville in another.

I’m not a big college basketball fan at all but I do appreciate the tournament, which is probably why I didn’t move from my couch between 3 p.m. and 12:30 a.m. Thursday into Friday.

Just don’t expect me to be sitting on that couch watching the games come next week, because I’ll surely be out of it by then.

-Nick Carrabine